Work (fun)ctional

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As I (ostensibly) enter the world of adulthood I am more and more leaving the crop-tops and high waisted denim shorts of college behind me. Unfortunately I haven’t yet figured out my go-to stylish-yet-sophisticated-yet-still-displaying-the-requisite amount of personality outfits. After the cheeky way I was able to dress in a previous life, more grown up affairs continue to leave in me somewhat a sartorial quandary.

So, when my boss informed me we’d be heading over the headquarters of a think tank later on that evening for drinks I was at a loss. What does one wear to go talk about cybersecurity and hacktivism and be taken seriously as someone who would likely be the youngest and blondest in the room, while still conveying my interest in the topic? Can I dress in theme? What would one even wear to a cybersecurity themed party? Can I ever get my mind out of my sorority? Is this what adulthood is like?

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Maybe not so much

My boss had sent me to change since our general office attire wasn’t suitable for such an occasion. Naturally I spent 45 minutes rummaging through my closet playing out all the eventualities in my head. I landed on this ensemble—the black definitely was intended to convey a degree of seriousness and maybe make me feel a bit like a spy, which felt oddly fitting. I tried my best to channel my inner-Audrey (a great departure from my now usual loose-fitting pants, crop top and slides). The top was one that I generally had not found occasions that warranted the beautiful vintage Chanel, but I felt this could be that time. The rather intense monochrome of the outfit i felt needed to be offset by some type of accessory—and when channeling old Hollywood heroines—why not add the scarf?

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Over the course of the evening, I undoubtedly stood out, but with my age and distinct lack of initials after my name that was somewhat an inevitability, and as bold a choice as the scarf definitely added to it. The most important thing for me was that I felt like myself in the clothes and as such had the confidence to talk to the rather impressive array of individuals in the room. after all, that’s what an outfit is for isn’t it?

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That or to feel like a boss
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Life Lessons from a Soaking Beach Yogi

kanye

This past weekend, I decided to show a friend who was new to LA the pristine joys of Manhattan Beach. We had made the plan before we had actually checked the forecast for the day (a habit that I know means I’ve been in the city too long). I had been hoping to take advantage of the last few weeks diving in without a wetsuit doesn’t remind me of the legendary Polar Bear swims of my good ole days of summer camp. Sadly, Southern California decided to deviate from the uniform of 75 and sunny. The overcast skies and slight breeze kept me on dry land, despite the surprisingly pleasant temperature of Pacific Ocean in September.

 

Needless to say, this was not the introduction to my favorite piece of coastline I had in mind. I may be a princess about the cold but I do really prefer leaving the beach smelling of salt and seaweed than seeing the sound of the waves lapping up against the shore as mere background noise. However, Angelinos are an entertaining lot and people-watching is undoubtedly a favorite past-time. I therefore wrapped myself tightly in my denim jacket and took in the cast of characters populating Manhattan that day.

 

There were six beefy men battling the waves atop a massive paddle board that kept our attention for a bit. They would use all their (rather impressive) arm muscle to maneuver the swells until nature inevitably won-out flipping over their absurdly large vessel. They all popped up afterwards looking like they’d just gotten off a rollercoaster and I definitely contemplated asking to hop on.

 

There were two children running around fully naked, though they had reached an age where the social acceptability of this was rather questionable. A group of beautiful thirty-somethings sat nearby, making sure the sand the children were flinging only hit each other. We amused ourselves trying to figure out whose children they were (none of the women looked like they could be the mother) or if group babysitting was what magazines would be calling a new brunch alternative in the coming months.

 

Next, my attention turned to the girl sitting eyes-closed and cross-legged by the base of the pier while someone moved around her snapping away on his iPhone. I pointed her out to my friend with a giggle with a derisive giggle.

 

Ok I’m a terrible person, I know, but God sometimes there is no greater joy than witnessing people fall into stereotypes as I look down from my imperious throne, judging what I see as their entirely unoriginal ways. There’s a satisfaction in watching people be sucked into the boxes I had already placed them in—a sort of sick pleasure that comes from feeling like you’ve figured out the people and the world around you. (Obviously I’m not immune to falling into boxes of my own—I have a Basic Bitch Jar on my kitchen table and an ounce of self-awareness. But I digress.)

 

But watching this girl gave the judgmental bitch in me an absurd pleasure. She simply checked the boxes I wanted for one of my favorite LA-staple boxes: the instagram yogi.

Processed with Snapseed.
Processed with Snapseed.

You’ll find this type of girl in various locales across the city that can look like you’re out in nature (without actually having to trek) when cropped to the square on your feed. She’ll contort herself into some kind of display of strength or flexibility and the resulting image seems to be intended to look as though some photographer happened to catch a majestic gumby-girl in her natural habitat and snapped a pic as she looks intently off into the distance, blissfully unaware of her audience.

 

Given where I was, and what was actually happening at the beach, I couldn’t help but find the whole display entirely ridiculous. The serene image that she would inevitably end up posting certainly didn’t encapsulate anything of what was actually going on. There was nothing serene about the dudes and their paddle boards or the uncomfortably naked children, all within 20 feet of her. With her placid expression and decided lack of a smile she just looked like she was taking herself so fuckin seriously.

 

So naturally, when the halcyon waves decided to come up and hit her in the back, I couldn’t help but bust a gut.

 

She was sitting in her placid posture, allowing the waves gently lap up against her lululemons—the picture of blissful meditation. But, the capricious ocean had other ideas and one particularly powerful wave came up and knocked the savasana right out of her. She jumped up, squealed, and checked out her now-soaking rear end. After a deep breath, she collected herself and sat resolutely back down, quickly resuming her meditative pose.

 

OK I’m not nice. I laughed. A lot. Basic yoga bitch gets hit by a wave—its classic comedy. And the fact that she didn’t laugh herself certainly convinced me she was taking herself waaaaay too seriously.

 

But, I am nothing if not prone to over-analysis and I did think about the girl later on. There was something about the resolute way in which she resumed her shoot—the single-minded-ness with which she approached getting the picture she had envisioned. The more I thought about it—the more I couldn’t help but admire it. That’s tenacity. Maybe she was too clueless to think about the people around her—unaware that I probably wasn’t the only person on the beach giggling at her misfortune. But more likely she just didn’t care. And I was jealous.

 

She had a goal. To many, it may have been a silly one, but she wanted that picture, and nature be damned she was getting it. Fuck the haters (me). She had a goal and she went after it, whether or not she looked utterly absurd in doing it. And she was going out and getting what she wanted. And of course the picture didn’t represent the beach as we were experiencing it. But she was showing her version of the truth. She was in charge. Creating her own reality to populate the feed of her followers.

 

So here comes the part where I learned something from yogi girl. Yeah, maybe she took herself a bit seriously (and maybe I’m taking her a bit too seriously with how dangerously close I came to calling her instagram ‘art’ back there—but that’s a debate for another post) Let’s be real, she was pretending to do Yoga at the beach.  But nothing ever happened pretending you don’t care and waiting for opportunities to come to you.

 

It’s easy to sit on in judgement when you aren’t doing anything. When you’re sitting on the beach armed with a denim jacket and an I-don’t-care attitude shielding you it’s easy to judge. The yoga girl was ‘doing the most’ but she’s the one who will end up actually doing the most. But the fact is photographers aren’t wandering around looking for beautiful limber women who happen to be doing yoga, asking to take a picture of them then catapulting them to stardom. Just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean that there’s going to be someone there trying to show the world how good you are. You have to do that yourself sometimes–create the opportunities yourself and show off your talents.

 

This might be the most millennial way humanly possible to come to the age-old realization you need to follow your dreams and forget what other people think—but I certainly can take a nod from the struggling yoga girl. If there’s something you want in life, whether it be a job, a relationship, a fit physique, a dope-looking instagram post, or a cookie you have to make it happen. Sometimes that requires having other people laugh at you and maybe getting your expensive athletic apparel a bit damp.

 

taking yourself too seriously is damaging, but not taking yourself seriously at all doesn’t do too much either. Yeah, I was able to laugh at her because she was putting herself out there, but putting yourself out there is the only way to get exactly what you want. By blocking myself off in an armor of denim and judgement, I get to laugh, but I also don’t get to do anything else.  What the randoms on the beach think of you doesn’t really matter. My laughter doesn’t affect her daily existence whatsoever, but the fact that she can go take the pictures she wants? That does.

 

So I’ve decided to follow the wet-rat yogi’s example and start up the old blog again. Put myself out there. Risk getting my proverbial lulus wet. Gotta be the instagram yogi I wish to see in the world. Or something like that.

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Take lessons learned everywhere you go. Even to the Melrose Flea Market

 

That Whole Book and Cover Thing

I clearly spend far too much of my time thinking about the way in which my appearance affects the way in which others see me. Given the fact I spend every other week writing about it, I probably should be master of my own first impression by now. But the fact of the matter is that despite my best efforts—all the careful consideration I put into every facet of the way I look—I’ve learned recently that these efforts have somewhat backfired. Apparently people have been getting a message from my clothing that I never meant it to send, namely that I’m a self-possessed bitch.

When discussing this newfound issue with a friend, she ascribed it society’s tendency towards a sort of tribe mentality based on ways of dressing. She claimed that, in the US especially, we use clothing as a way to identify a ‘tribe’, meaning people like us. As a society, we have decided that a similarity in the way we dress and carry ourselves hints at something more than a similar color palette or an affinity for a certain type of fabric. We look at someone and figure we have a pretty good shot at guessing what books they read, music they listen to, etc and whether or not we will be able to find something in common with this person. We use ways of dressing as a sort of tribal markings allowing them to tell us with whom we should and shouldn’t associate.

Maybe Recess took tribe mentality to a whole new level. But those Kindergardeners just seemed to have the most fun...
Maybe Recess took tribe mentality to a whole new level. But those Kindergardeners just seemed to have the most fun…

We often decide that musical preference can be guessed at by tribe membership, but people also seem to firmly believe they can guess at unexpected things based on this fact alone. The more immersed in fashion I’ve become, the more I’ve fallen into the tribe of girls who care about the way they dress. Little did I know that some people have decided that one of the fundamental attributes of the tribe of girls who care about the way they dress is that all they care about is the way they dress. If that is not one of your defining characteristics, then you aren’t worth talking to, according to this tribe. I had always thought that by not being a bitch people wouldn’t think you were a bitch, but apparently this impression is determined solely by tribe affiliation. Apparently society has decided that the tribeswomen are stupid shallow and only worth as much as their Daddy’s credit card, but this tribe considers themselves to be above everyone who doesn’t consider the mall their mother ship.

Clearly the tribe leader...
Clearly the tribe leader…

Friendship is clearly based in common-interest. Obviously I love to talk about clothes, and I do see a really fabulous watch as a potential basis for a conversation in a way people who don’t care if their watch is fabulous might find excessive. But that 1-doesn’t mean I think a conversation about watches is better than a conversation about anything else (though I suppose the glee with which I discuss something I consider a truly great purchase might tell you otherwise). 2- it doesn’t mean I, or anyone else belonging to such a tribe, can’t talk about things besides fabulous watches. I sat next to a girl on a bus and a friendship was quickly ignited. Clothing was never mentioned. We spent the entire bus ride discussing the fact that we were both harboring a secret obsession with Panic! At the Disco long past the point when such an obsession was socially acceptable. It took her looking through my ipod and seeing how extensive my collection was (I even had the Live! In Chicago album) and actually getting to know each other as human beings (or at least as Panic! fans) to mutually discover the depths of our mania. We all clearly ascribe to a certain mode of dressing, and that does give the world a message about who we are. But no one wants to think that they are nothing but their tribe, and don’t have little hidden attributes no one would expect. (I’m looking at you, condescending bitch of a saleswoman at Land’s End. Just because I don’t wear smartwool socks to the mall does not mean I’ve never been on a hike before.) I like to think everyone’s a little more complex than that.

All about who you can and can't sit with
High school movies are an accurate representation of life, right?

Hate to do it, but I gotta bring it back to my Germans. As in the philosophers. Kant’s obviously my boy. And in the Critique of Pure Reason (Critique of Pure Fashion, get it? Haha?), he separates the world into what he calls the phenomenal and the noumenal worlds. We access the world through our senses, and this is the world he calls the phenomenal world. The noumenal world is  the world as it really is. This is the world we can’t access through sight feel or smell, it is the world of the thing-in-itself. All we know is the phenomenal world we can’t access the thing-in-itself, as we only gain knowledge of the world around us through our senses. But that doesn’t mean that the noumenal world isn’t there.

Kant probably never meant for this to be applied to the world of fashion, but that’s how I think of it. Yes, we do have access to a surface view of any given person, and yes, this impression is valid. Appearance is a part of the limited access we have to a person. Sight is a fundamental way through which we gain knowledge of the world. However, I like to think we all are people beyond this—we all have the noumenal worlds of our own brains that no one else will have access to because they can’t get inside our heads. Fashion and appearance is a way of controlling the phenomenal world the rest of humanity has access to, and maybe give some type of insight into the noumenal.

Tribes are a natural way of seeing the world, and categories make life easier. People are so varied, we want to find something basic to cling to. Putting people into tribes or categories helps us make the world and social relationships a little easier to navigate. It’s a lot less scary to enter into a conversation with someone that we can reasonably anticipate finding things to talk about with, and we obviously make this judgment based on things we find at the surface. But we also have to be aware of the fact that the surface isn’t all that’s there, and our tribe categorization doesn’t give us a complete peek into someone else’s mind.

Photo Creds:

http://th01.deviantart.net/fs71/200H/f/2013/177/6/6/recess_gang_as_kindergarteners_by_noahdetweiler-d6atrf8.jpg

http://renegadechicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/mean-girls-movie-still-photo-475×357-01_476x357.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_mMxaGn4ATO8/TOFeboDLgWI/AAAAAAAADEE/GJUwjKNTPzY/s320/cher.jpg

And Now for Something Completely Different

So I’ve been pretty bad at updating as of late. Work got a little crazy, and there was that whole seeing family and friends thing that sort of took over break. Anyway, another one of my favorite things to do, other than wear clothes and take pictures of myself is baking. I love taking recipes I find online and making them healthier and more to my taste. I often try for vegan, but sometimes (like this time) that just didn’t happen. The shredded carrots and pineapple give them lots of texture, and I used one of my favorite tricks namely using yogurt instead of oil. They’re filling and healthy, and I’d recommend anyone to bake or eat em, cause they’re delicious.

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1/2 cup white flour

1  1/2 cup whole wheat flour

2 tsp baking soda

1 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1 tsp cinnamon

1/4 tsp nutmeg

3/4 cup white sugar

3/4 cup brown sugar

1 cup yogurt

3 eggs, beaten

1 tsp vanilla extract

3/4 cup oats

1/2 cup cranberries

2 cups shredded carrots

1 cup pineapple chunks

Mm looks like a yummy little spaceship
Mm looks like a yummy little spaceship with pineapple chunks

1. Preheat the oven to 350

2. Mix the dry ingredients (the ones up to the nutmeg) in a large bowl. I only actually used one big bowl, as the rest of the ingredients just went in there as well

3. Beat 3 eggs in a small bowl

4. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and add the sugars, the eggs, the yogurt and the vanilla

5. Fold in the rest

6. Put the batter in the tins and bake for 25 minutes (or standard muffin time is around that, I never set a timer, preferring to check on them periodically until they look right to me) This time I have no idea how long I baked them for. A friend came over and I didn’t remember I had them in the oven until my Father asked when he would get to try one. I ran to take them out and they were fortunately unharmed, and actually maybe benefitted from the extra time which resulted in a rather pleasantly crispy caramelization on top.

Look at that almost burned goodness
Look at that almost burned goodness

Cheers and happy baking my friends. I promise I’ll start ranting about clothing again very soon.

(Based on the Carrot Oatmeal Muffins by westcoastmom on allrecipes.com)

In Which I Sound Like a Cat Lady With a Really Nice Coat

So I realize this post is incredibly belated (Black Friday was ages ago, I know), but finals doesn’t exactly wait for me to have a new blog post, so I’m afraid you’ll have to bear with me.

I always hated the institution of Black Friday shopping. To me, it seemed utterly absurd. Why shop under less than ideal conditions? How can you possibly make a correct assessment of the quality and use of a particular garment when there are 7 other people clamoring for the same one? It didn’t seem feasible and didn’t seem pleasant. However, this year, Black Friday played matchmaker. I fell in love. It all started when my sister wanted a coat, and my assistance in finding one. Being on West Coast time, the idea of braving the midnight crowds seemed do-able, and we decided to make a trip of it, and hit up the suburban Macy’s. I felt fairly confident that, even given the greatest of discounts, I could take the bitches of the 847 down.

Upon entering the store, the crowds seemed less than hostile, though they to moved with a certain frantic gait. A phenomenon I attributed to most people chugging a Red Bull upon entry to combat the inevitable post-meal Turkey-coma. We were also met with a rack of doorbusters—a bunch of jackets and coats marked buy one, get one free. This was obviously a tantalizing offer, and my sister suggested we go in on such a deal together. As we combed the rack, I found a pea coat. It was cute, dark gray with big buttons, and heartily met with my sister’s approval, and she encouraged me to try it on.

I examined myself and the garment in the mirror and informed her that I have no use for a pea coat. I live in LA. I come back for Chicago winters, but hopefully for shorter and shorter increments of time. (I love my city but that shit’s brutal.) Buying a full-on coat wardrobe almost seemed counterproductive. So I kept my wits about me—I would not let the store goad me into buying something I didn’t need just because it was cheap. From my time in retail, I knew how sales worked. The corporation wanted me to buy this pea coat, but I was smarter than that. I was practical and rational.

So, I put the coat back on the rack, and continued my search for something exceptionally warm for my winter-bound sister.My mission was to find something for her, and I could not be sidetracked with shopping for myself. And that’s when I found it. The music stopped and time moved a bit more slowly. The lights dimmed, and the store was lit simply by the effulgent glow emanating from the striking gold accents of my precious. It was stunning. It was impeccable. It had pretty little ‘MK’s in the zippers. I knew from the moment I laid eyes on the new object of my affection, my closet, nay my life would no longer be complete without it. I grabbed the first one I saw off the rack and threw it on.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” I asked my sister, showing her my beloved. “I need this.”

“Are you serious?” She asked incredulously. “You just said you didn’t need a pea coat. You live in LA remember? I thought we just went over this.”

“Don’t be silly. I didn’t need that pea coat. I need this pea coat.”

My sister just rolled her eyes, and maybe she was right to do so. After all, in terms of practicality, no, this pea coat was not, by any means, a necessary addition to my closet. But it was love. And, as they say sometimes love doesn’t make sense. Sometimes love comes in the face of adversity and I can think of no more adverse circumstances than what was now 1:30 am on Black Friday. And what my sister didn’t seem to realize was that my passion wasn’t for the garment itself. My ardor was inspired by the way my treasure made me feel. From the moment I donned my wool-blend sweetheart, I felt glamorous. I knew that I could face any adversity with my asymmetrical, military inspired armor to protect me. I knew that the glow of infatuation would never quite fade from my cheeks whenever my body was adorned with my beloved’s magic.

“You’re ridiculous.” Was my sister’s only reply. I didn’t expect her to understand. She couldn’t grasp the depth of our connection. She would change her tune, however, once she saw me in my precious in the proper size. This one was the first I grabbed off the rack, and slightly too big. We’d show her how much we belonged together, once there was a perfect fit.

No love is without adversity, and ours found its first setback in the first few moments of courtship. In a moment akin to Juliet discovering Romeo’s last name, I discovered they no longer had my size. This set about a manic search throughout the entirety of the coat section. Every rack that contained even a glimmer of gold or a hint of sapphire wool must be searched. The coat department of Macy’s had been left like a warzone in the Black Friday hubub, coats scattered everywhere, none in their proper place. But no unceremonious pile was beyond by scrutiny. Despite my efforts, I was made fortune’s fool.

Disconsolate, I wandered over to the shoe department, hoping for something worthy of at least rebound, anything to take my mind off what seemed fated not to be. (My sister, pleased with her very warm and very discounted find was quick to remind me that the idea of retail therapy to combat the sadness of an unsuccessful shopping trip was “ridiculous”. But she was not coming away from the excursion empty-handed.) I moped past the in-store Starbucks (it remained open to caffeinate the weary shoppers) and entertained the idea of buying something, anything with chocolate. That’s what people do in these situations, right?

At around 2, my beleaguered sister and mother decided they had had enough of the mania, and we decided to head towards the checkout. As we stood in line, I was then hit with a stroke of brilliance that maybe I had overlooked due to the late hour: I could ask an employee for help. God I was a problem solver. I told my cohorts to hold our place while I went to go grab my last shred of hope. Maybe, just maybe, we could find a way to be together. I raced back, just as my mother reached the register and slammed the coat onto the counter.

“Is she with you?” The woman at the register asked my mother. The look on her face hinted at a desire to call security.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Don’t worry I didn’t, like, cut or anything.” I tried to laugh, though I was still panting slightly.

“You never know on days like this.” She said, knowingly. “People are crazy.”

I asked her if the coat was on the system as being anywhere in the store. When the results turned up negative, I figured that was it. Then, the woman whose name tag informed me she was called ‘Betty’ became my saving grace with a few simple words: “We can order it for you.”

Half an hour and much confusion with shipping addresses later, my mother and sister trudged back to the car, feeling the effects of the fact that it was now 2:30 in the morning. I however, was immune, and was bounding back to the car floating on a cloud of endorphins. Parting was certainly sorrowful, but sweetened by the fact that we would be reunited in 3 to 5 business days. All was right with the world.

Coat: Michael Kors, Pants: Genetic Denim, Boots: Sorel, Hat: Courtesy of the lovely and talented Rachel Black

Photo Cred: My Mama

So Ya Had a Bad Day

I’m not gonna lie, this morning was pretty rough. The sky was gloomy, and it looked like the day would be as close to chilly as is possible in Southern California. The night before during my typical 3 am insomnia-induced Buffy session, my laptop managed to crash onto the ground. So, this morning, when my sleep-deprived self wanted to listen to some uplifting music, my lovely little Macbook was unresponsive. So, essentially, this day started out as the definition of a fuck-this-day and I wanted to go back to bed before I had even gotten in the shower. Lovely.

The point of this story was not to engender the sympathy of my fair readers, but to contemplate the outfit choices made in the wake of apparent tragedy. Part of me wanted to go the route of sweatpants. When was the last time you had an exceptionally great day in your old high school gym attire? Cause I kind of doubt it. Squirrel suit days are the days you just skate through. Since sleep was such a large factor in my morning struggle, I figured dressing like I was in bed would make the-curling-up-into-a-little-ball I so longed for far easier. Sometimes you just want to dress for sympathy, showing the world your despondency with your choice of attire. People need know that they are supposed to feel sorry for you God dammit!

With that in mind, I reached into my incredibly disorganized closet for my yoga pants and my hand touched denim. Intrigued by the unexpected material, I investigated further. And what I pulled out made the overcast sky and cooler temperatures seem like a sign from God. It was pants weather. And in my hands were pants. Amazing pants. They were a recent acquisition from a second hand store that reaffirmed my belief that anything with vertical stripes is undeniably fun. They were totally unique, but not so outrageous as to feel like a costume, they made a statement. They were not pants that would allow me to simply slide through the day, unnoticed in my languor. I didn’t feel quite like myself, but those pants were so me I figured I might as well fake it till I make it. But I took the lack of sunshine in LA as a sign that the universe wanted me in those jeans.

The day that followed was not my best. There was a quiz I didn’t know about in Chinese and a near death experience involving my phone and a toilet. But this day did teach me that it’s really hard to mope when you’re wearing really cool pants. A compliment can help break up the weary expression that accompanies a lack of sleep and the fear that your clumsiness  cost you 2000 dollars. People smiled when they saw what I was wearing, which just made me smile back. It reminded me that feeling like you look good can make up for a lot of the shit life throws at you. Dressing like you’re brooding just keeps you in that mindset. I’m not saying that a great outfit heals all wounds, but sometimes it can serve as a really cool-looking Band-Aid. And if you aren’t feeling confident in yourself, at least you can feel confident in your pants.

Tank Top: Silence+Noise, Pants: Genetic Denim, Sweater: Thrifted, Boots: Urban Outfitters

PhotoCred Calli Obern!!!

A Girl Who Wears Sneaker Wedges

My sister and I did far too much shopping this summer. It was July. I was in Europe and there were sales. The amount of damage I did to my bank account balance is really not my fault. There’s no better way to take in a city than to wander around the streets o and pop into any store that looks remotely interesting. It was in Amsterdam, therefore, in a store called Supertrash I had never heard of that I found sneaker wedges. Not just any sneaker wedges, though. Ones with cut outs. 80% off sneaker wedges (again it’s the big foot advantage). It had to be too good to be true. So of course, I started to overthink the shoes. Sneaker wedges? Really? Could I pull them off? People who wear sneaker wedges are cool. Not only were they cool, but they’re a specific type of cool person. A glamorous person. A girl who wears sneaker wedges has interesting places to go and people they need to impress when they get there (but they do need to get there, hence the sneaker). She has to be both practical and fabulous, cause she’s doing things but looking great while doing them. Was I that person? Could I even fake being that person?

These shoes weren’t me. They by no means fit in with my general aesthetic. I tend to dress vintage and cutesy, not hyper trendy. Yes, I have to get from point A to point B, so I guess my life necessitates the sneakers, but I don’t necessarily go interesting enough places or live a glamorous enough existence to demand any type of heel whatsoever.

Despite my hesitations, I walked around the store a bit with them on, and checked myself out in the mirror. Over the course of my stroll, I came to a realization, a fashion Ah-ha moment if you will: wearing the sneaker wedges made me feel like a person who wears sneaker wedges.  Even if I wasn’t cool or glamorous and my shit was by no means really together, I felt like it looked like it. That slight amount of suede encasing my foot and the bit of rubber under my heel just made me feel cool. The way the little lift of my foot made walk put some swing in my hips. I liked the person I saw in the mirror. She looked glamorous. She looked cool. She looked like maybe her shit was pretty much together.

Maybe me wearing sneaker wedges is somewhat disingenuous. I always say fashion is an argument, and maybe the argument I’m making by wearing sneaker wedges is totally false. But maybe I’m ok with it. Yeah my outfit might not be particularly true to my life, but I enjoyed the ‘me’ that I felt like I was wearing it. What you wear can argue who you are, but it can also shape the way you feel, which in some ways changes who you are. Maybe I’m not actually cool enough to wear a crop top and rock the whole sweat pants look. But I like the way I feel when I try to, and I think fashion is about expressing who you are, but also who you want to be.

Sneaker Wedges: Supertrash, Top: Akira Chicago, Pants: Nina Kendosa Paris

PhotoCred: My lovely roomie Meredith Edwards